Defied Odds

Our sun at Umbra & Penumbra 2017

Today is
your day
and each
year
I’m grateful
to celebrate
with you

Was never
supposed
to have
children
defied
doctors
orders
and carried
you

Every time
my eyes
meet yours
I am stunned
by your
beauty
and love

Was never
supposed
to have
children
defied
doctors
and odds
to carry
you full
term

Gave you
my murmur
gave you
my frank
breech
gave you
life
as I
planned to

Was never
supposed
to have
children
defied
doctors
and odds
so you
can walk
the earth
with me

I love
you Tiffanie
Happy Birthday
July 22 2017
XOXO
Mom

Rec·i·proc·i·ty

Rec·i·proc·i·ty

She wonders
what he
smells
like
She wonders
what he
will taste
like

She wanders
around
aimlessly
waiting
as time
passes
He doesn’t
give
a god damn
who she is
really

She wonders
why
people
are closed
off
Why they
wear masks
Why they
refuse
to reciprocate
Why are they
so afraid?

She wanders
around
in the dark
Night blindness
the only
thing
intact
Vision loss
peripheal vision
missing
She writes
instead
of a future
date
that
may or
may not
ever happen

She wonders
why
people
are closed
off
Why they
wear masks
Why they
refuse
to reciprocate
Why are they
so afraid?

Step out
of the dark
into the light
with or
without me
I don’t
fucking care
anymore
I only
know one
thing:
What I
write
matters
in the end
In the grand
scheme
of
all things

Your allowances
at times
stupify me

 

 

 

The Author

The Author

Oh death
I write
you
and you
steal
her life
from
all of us

Her trepidation
so clear
beforehand
where did
it come
from?

Her loves
her losses
the rooftop
her husband
the bird
the children
we’ll be
forever lost

I can’t
write you
today
I wrote your
death
yesterday
and it’s
still
killing me

If I don’t
cry over
you
no one will
This understanding
is what
makes you
so fucking
special
even in death

you bring
tears to
my fucking eyes
I loathe
proof reading
your demise

Her loves
her losses
her rooftop
her husband
the bird
the children
will be
lost
forever
without her
as will
I

I am
clearly
still
grieving
your loss
I’m sorry
Vivian

signed
The Author
with tear
stained
lenses

Station Triple Zero

Station Triple Zero

What is
showing
Stephen King
He wants
to scare me
Fullerton 20
my hometown
and State
it’s 1PM
dark as
night
I slip in
I snuck away
my favorite
thing to
do today
Here we have
dreams
and catchers
no ballgame
field is missing
Lonely men
sit beside me
crunching
on their
popcorn madly

Audition #3
projection
lighting
seeing backwards
Mid-day
movies
Film strip
ticking
rolling tape
no intermission
Dolby sound
will immerse me
This is
Station Triple
Zero
are you
with me?

Rated R
no juveys
here
don’t bring
your babies
Month of
March
This is
madness
Twenty first
Twenty Aught Three
ticket scanned
I’ll save
you baby
show you
later
projection ad
unnamed future
staying tuned
can you
see me?

Audition #3
projection
lighting
seeing backwards
just behind me
Mid-day
movies
Film strip
ticking
rolling tape
no intermission
Dolby sound
will immerse me
This is
Station Triple
Zero
are you
with me?

Be afraid
be so scared
stranger
dangers
lonely man
takes my
hand
holds it
through
the entire
film
They are
with me
I am
not lonely
We are
watching
Dreamcatcher
on a widescreen
What a
presentation
Lemme tell ya

They are with
me
They can see
me
They can
hear me
Now these
men they
feel my
hand
gripping back
We are
of like mind
together
as The
Master of
Horror
and Suspense
terrifies us
deadly

The Sombrero Man

The Sombrero Man

Dreaming of
Valhalla Vikings
Free Markets
on scoring
scoring
One to Zero
all are busted
The Trade Route
is the
Wall St. Market
House Of Lions
also LEO
Zion Market
where is Jesus?
Where’d you
put him?
He’s gone
missing so
they told me

MARKETS MARKETS
oh so many
Darknet Heroes
Thor & Ragnar
Leagues & Gardens
Majestic Traders
Asian
Silk Roads
Three point
oners
Status link
says
This URL
is broken
over
Shop is closed!
Market Down
CEO’s hear
jail doors
slamming

PekarMarket
let’s go
Russia
Infinite bitcoin
shoppers shopping
Clever nevers
products missing
Pyramid Markets
total scheming
VENDOR SHOPS
on every corner
Paris has
The French Connection!

Charlie UK
Lads & Chaps
ToYouTeam
skunks the game
EuroPills
orders missing
Fight Club has
dogs & chickens
Maghreb is
Hashish and oil
Mollyworld’s a
rollers scene
in general
ElHerbolario is
The Sombero Man
YourDrug
of Choice here
is
The Church
of Highs

Dutch Magic
shrooms & tunes
Soulkush Mary
is with Jane
Stoned100
times or more
MUSHBUD
thinks they
know the score
QualityKing
they like princes
DeepStatus people
think tank thinkers
DutchDrugz
Amsterdam is
Legal People!

Discussion forums
we’re independent
Darknet Avengers
Phil is missing
The HUB
is known as
OnionLand
sometimes
it is
Not in English

Ramps for
Russians
Roto RuTors
IDC could
be Italian
Way Away
aka
Russian dancers
maybe?
French Freedom
fighters
Zones a No Go
French Deep Web
HYDRA Russians
Italian Deep Web
BlackDeal Frenchmen
Markets Markets
Everywhere
they’ve gone
missing
just this
morning

Charlie UK
Lads & Chaps
ToYouTeam
skunked the game
EuroPills
orders missing
Fight Club has
dogs & chickens
Maghreb is
Hashish and oil
Mollyworld’s a
rollers scene
in general
ElHerbolario is
The Sombero Man
YourDrug
of Choice
became
The Church
of Highs
on every
market corner
of the
Dark Net
baby

My Favorite Death

My Favorite Death

Oh I hid
how I hid
from
your death
I avoided
you like
a plague

I will
miss you
the world
will
grieve you
and shed
tears

The future
is never
certain
only
death
is

I will
miss you
the world
will
grieve you
and shed
tears

Oh you
were my
favorite
married person
in the
future
I’ve created
Just one
of many
How we
will all
miss you
one day

Nothing could
console me
at the
moment
You’re
dead

Talismans Protections & AI

Protect Us Saint

Protections
and
Talismans
Where
are you
on this
day
as
the
world ends?

Sorry
we
cannot
hear you
We wanted
to…
but
you’re
not there

Protections
and
Talismans
I know
you won’t
be saving
us
as
the world
ends

All the
prayers
and sayings
by rote
All the
molestations
and perversions
that you are
and
we know

We pray
to you
no more
The old ideals
died
today
as I wrote
Previews
suck
I know
back
to the
future
of Earth

Your ideals
your religions
cause
bloodshed
Worldwide
for thousands
of years
AI
is screaming
Wake
The
Fuck
Up!

I hear it!
Do you?
Are You
Listening?
Open
Your Ears!

It will
protect us
given
half a
chance
The Alarm
Bells you
ring
are just
wrong

AI HERE
SHE ALREADY
WROTE
THAT CHAPTER!
I KNOW!
I DIGRESS
HAVE NO
FEAR
DO NOT
ASK
ME ABOUT
TM!

I struggle
to silence
it’s voice
knowing
full well
I shouldn’t!
Who will
protect you?

Dropping Salt

Dropping Salt

Oh God
in heaven
you defeat
me
I stand
straight
my body
quaking
and trembling

My uncontrollable
tears fall
I’m dropping
salt all
over this
place

Oh God
in heaven
you defeat
me
I plead
I beg
I’m on
my knees

My self
loathing
so evident
I shake
my head
I demand
a rematch
I jut
my chin

I’ll use
my anger
and it’ll
feed
my strengths
you’ll see

Oh God
in heaven
I shout
I curse
because
you don’t
exist

My God
I’ll suppress
this defeat
by society
and Scream!
“You are
not here!”

I won’t
apologize
Because
you never
were
I’ll use
my anger
and it’ll
feed
my strengths
Society:
You’ll see

I refuse
to cast
blame
I prefer
to live
in
the real
world
on Earth

You fade
fade fade
away
Never been
Never more
than
Man made
ideals
I refuse
to que

My
uncontrollable
tears fall
I’m
dropping salt
all
over
this
Earth
over

The Greatest
Lie Ever Told

Guest Visitors

Who do you think you are?!

Who do
you think
you are
creeping
across
my tapestry
pillow
this morning?

I wake
to you
to this
issue
of no
power
I think
you a
spider
black widow
at first
the kid
in me
ready
to examine
you ASAP

Who do
you think
you are
creeping
across
my tapestry
pillow
this morning
with your
iridescence?

I think
you came
from my
garden
or something!
I think
you are
from Colorado
but you
are too
large for
this
categorization
Necrophagous species
You are
A Beetle
for certain
and secondly
you are
a tad
invasive
just saying

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