I’m Taking That Train

I

living
in silence
living
with pain
living
but dying
more everyday
why
do you
say you care?
your point
is moot

living in
sin
living
without
living in
the
pitch black
living to
die sooner
rather than
later
dying to live

existing
in boxes
existing for
myself and
no other
living breathing
dying this
way
why do
you watch?
have I become
entertaining?

dying with
volume
dying in pain
dying to
be myself again
take off
your mask
I fucking have
the party’s
begun
hang onto
your hat

living the
lie
turning my
back
living for
only myself
abolishing this
and destroying
that
life list
running out
time passes
so fast

taking the spoon
plunging the needle
taking a hit
watching myself
dilate
watching you
move
in slow motion
hit me again
cannot relax
I’m dying
in pain
I’m living
to get
on with
the show
so tune in

mind body
and heart
going numb
no longer feeling
anything that
ever mattered
I am
paralyzed
I am gone
traveling now
dying to live
living to die
what does
it matter
to you
which train
I jump on?

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